Monday, October 15, 2012

Day 15--Stress

Day 15--I am about half-way through this month-long challenge of blogging. I have definitely enjoyed it so far. Some days it has been a little stressful to try and fit this in among all the other things, but whenever I sit down to blog, I relax and enjoy it. I think I have found that blogging is an outlet for me. My husband plays basketball and I blog.

At any rate, this halfway point made me think of being half way through with wedding planning. So much has been accomplished and it feels good and yet looking forward there is still a mile-long to-do list that could be stressing you out as time ticks away. I think this half-way point is when I started to get stressed. Before then, I had months to get everything done, it would be fine, no big deal. But then the 3 month, 2 month, 1 month marks started coming and it was crunch time. I would say at the half-way point some things changed, some good and some not so good. So while "stress" may not have been a topic you would have expected to see in a wedding planning blog, I think it is totally relevant because you will probably, most likely, quite possibly, maybe encounter some to a lot of stress during your wedding planning. It's kind of inevitable. Planning a wedding is a big deal. Getting married is a big deal. Your life majorly changing is a big deal. It's a change for everyone, so don't expect to be the only one stressing out. And don't think you are crazy if you do get stressed out. I think it's somewhat natural. Is is good and healthy? Not really. But, if something stresses you out, to me that shows you care about it a lot and want to make it right and as good as you can so you get flustered when you feel overwhelmed with everything. So yes, stress is a part of wedding planning. BUT, wedding planning doesn't have to be about stress. Here are some tips, advice, and things from own experience to help you de-stress at the halfway point (or whenever) you may need it.

  • Write it down. I am a list person. You may not be. However, with planning a wedding, there are going to be dozens of to-do's, thoughts, dates, deadlines, etc. running through your head which could be stressing you out. Take a minute to sit down and write it all out so you can feel better about not forgetting anything and visually see your task list.
  • Ask for help. Even if you are having a DIY wedding, don't think the Y means "yourself" as in "you and ONLY you". In my experience, people are always offering to help you with wedding tasks. At times it can be hard to know how to have people help so you brush them off. When you are starting to get stressed out, give someone a call. Give them a task. Delegate. Divide and conquer!
  • Set goals/deadlines. At my halfway point, I really sat down and created a calendar. My mom and I needed to visually and chronologically figure out when and what things we needed to do by when. I also made a goal to finish all my decor pieces two weeks before the wedding so that I had that time to pack, focus on last-minute details, and relax a bit.
  • Relax. Take some time to watch a movie, get coffee with a friend, read a book, cook a meal, go for a drive. Do something, un-wedding that will recharge you so that you can maintain your energy and sanity.
  • Pray. Enough said.
  • Go on a date!!! This one is SO important. Up above when I mentioned the "not so good" things that happened halfway through, I was referring to killing the romance. Now it's not intentional or anyone's fault, it just kinda happens. My fiance and I really noticed it and talked about it a couple times. We lived an hour away so we saw each other on the weekends and would talk on the phone every night. As we got to the less than halfway countdown, our phone conversations became less of "how was your day?" and more of "here is your list of things you need to do for the wedding." Yes wedding tasks needed to happen, and we couldn't get around having conversations about various things and making decisions. But we realized that when every conversation became about details and logistics we got burned out. We weren't having fun talking to each other, we weren't laughing, we weren't pursuing each other and we weren't focusing on us at all. Same with when we saw each other. Yes, we still did some fun things, but we also had lots of wedding tasks to take care of and that isn't exactly the quality time you need to fill your love tank. After realizing this, we declared some phone conversations "no wedding talk". We hung out and wouldn't talk or do anything wedding related. I think one of my favorite memories was a date that I planned for us. It was on the Wednesday before our wedding. We had Bachelor/Bachelorette parties Thursday night, Rehearsal on Friday and then Wedding on Saturday. Wednesday night was our last chance to hang out just the two of us before we got married. It was our last date. I packed a picnic dinner and his favorite board game (Monopoly) and we met at the lake halfway between our two homes. The same halfway where we had met for the very first time. The same halfway where he gave me a blue sapphire necklace to make me think he wasn't proposing in another hour. We had such a great night playing, eating, talking, and laughing together. I wish we had done more of that. So that is my biggest advice to you! Keep dating while you are planning your wedding. Don't let details, to-do's, and logistics get in the way of your relationship and your love.
What stressed you out most? How did you fight the stress?

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