Who will be your MOH? (Maid of Honor) Who will be the bridesmaids? Best man? Groomsmen? Who will be ring bearer? Flower girl? Readers? Officiator?
How do you decide which people to have be a part of your special day?
Yes this topic can cause lots of drama and problems if other people in your life have expectations about their role in your wedding. Thankfully we didn't have any drama and my personal thought on that is...when it's their wedding, they can cause as much drama as they want, but for now, be quiet and put the dress/suit on! :)
Here are some tips based on my own experience.
MOH, Bridesmaids, Best Man and Groomsmen
You will need to sit down and talk with your fiance about wedding party size. Do you each want the same number of attendants? Do you want an odd or even number? (Even numbers can be nice because then with the newlywed couple you have odd numbers for pictures). Do you have people that are absolute musts like siblings?
My fiance originally wanted 8 groomsmen. This posed a problem for me because I had 5 girls in mind. Sure, I could think of others to add, but they were in pairs so I would only be able to add one and a half pairs which just wouldn't work. For him to cut back, it also came down to pairs. We talked about if having an even number of guys and girls was important. It didn't matter as much to me, but my fiance wanted it to be balanced. He did more thinking and was able to narrow it down to 5. We each have a brother so those were musts for groomsmen. He chose his brother for his Best Man, and my Maid of Honor was my best friend since childhood. We then talked about what order our wedding party would stand in and considered who they would be walking with.
I think choosing the people to stand by you on your wedding day is very important. I believe these people should be good friends who have invested in your life--friends you can always turn to if you need love, help, advice, prayer, support or anything--friends that will support you in your marriage.
Here is our good-looking wedding party:
Ring Bearer and Flower Girl
For these roles, people often turn to nieces and nephews or young cousins. Nate and I didn't have any family that was in the right age range so we went with close family friends of mine. Our dear friends who live on the farm where we had the wedding were my youth group leaders in high school and the wife is my mentor. I have known them both since before they got married and have loved watching their family grow to include 3 beautiful children. We chose their two oldest kids to be our "ring" bearer (he actually carried a sign) and flower girl. They are so special to me and did a great job! Plus I think they are just so darn cute.
Ideally, I thinkthis person should be someone that both you and your fiance know. However, we did not attend the same church so it wasn't a slam dunk answer to just choose "our" pastor. So how did we choose?
My fiance went to a larger church, and he didn't know his pastor personally. Since I was ten, my family attended a small country church and I knew my pastor well. During our time dating, Nate attended my church often and was well-acquainted with my pastor. Our other pastor options were family friends that lived out of the state. We decided to go with my pastor because of my family's relationship with him, his offer of pre-marital counseling, and Nate knowing him better than I know his pastor. He did a great ceremony and we were very happy with our choice.
How did you choose your wedding party?